dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
