it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
