so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
