Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I can't turn off my feet"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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