actually, I'm a sock model
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Who died my cat blue again?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
