i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I wish you could order shots online.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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