Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think people are normalizing furries
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
