Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
