I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
