I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
