I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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