Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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