And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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