The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
