This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
jump out the window naked night went bad
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
