I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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