I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
