She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just gift wrapped bread.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
