Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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