I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
