Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
