Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize