is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
