if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
