Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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