Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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