Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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