Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
