sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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