I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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