and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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