Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
