I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
