Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
