i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
