Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
