she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
