Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
