): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
