the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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