It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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