i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
