Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
