I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you will always have a special place in my vag
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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