Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
