honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
