Yo dont text me then not text me
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
