in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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