too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
only you would photoshop your dick
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
