time to smoke my breakfast
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize