Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
