No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
