Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize