I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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