I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
