I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
