There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
