Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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