I'm going to jail i love you
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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