he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
