I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I intend to get homeless drunk
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
