Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
