"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
