Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
